Part IV: Scary movies will rot your mind...
by starcrest
Summary: Duo is left at home by himself, and decides to watch some scary movies to scare himself shitless. Has he been watching too many? Rated R for language, suggestive themes, and an evil Teletubby.


Disclaimer: It ain't mine.  
  
Sorry, no opening dialogue for this one! ^_^;;  
  
Duo was finally home alone for the night. No Heero to yell at him for being silly, and wanting to make love all the time, though they did it a lot anyway. No Trowa to keep asking him to play Pokemon. No Quatre to bake those nasty walnuts in the brownies, even though Duo begged him not to EVERY time he made them, and no more scolding from him when he and Wufei got in a fight. Most importantly, no Wufei to get in a fight with.  
  
Duo planned to stay up all night long and watch homemade gay porn he and Heero---ah, I mean, stay up all night long and watch scary movies that would scare him shitless. He was in the kitchen, busy making himself a microwavable burrito. Then the phone rang.  
  
Duo answered the phone, wondering who on earth could be calling at this hour.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"I can see you..." came an eerie voice on the other line.  
  
"What? Who is this?" Duo asked, getting fearful.  
  
"What's your favorite scary movie?"  
  
"I don't know. What's yours?" Duo asked, unintentionally sounding retarded.  
  
"I asked you first! Anyway, I can see you, Duo Maxwell..." Duo got scared. Who was this?  
  
"Who is this?! Heero, is this some sort of joke?" Duo cried.  
  
"I'm gonna kill you!" the voice on the other line whispered harshly.  
  
"What? I couldn't hear you. You were whispering."  
  
"Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?" the voice asked.  
  
"No, of course not. I'm a big boy now," Duo lied. The voice on the other line laughed maniacally.  
  
"Do you know where I am?"  
  
"No. Where are you, you sick bastard?" Duo asked looking around the kitchen.  
  
"Look out your window," came the reply. Duo went to the window, and saw Wufei and Treize performing obscene activities with eachother in the pool house through the window. Duo screamed.  
  
"Oh, my Gawd! Wufei's gay!" he cried out.  
  
"Sorry, wrong window," the voice told him, "try looking out the glass door to the backyard."  
  
"Kay." When Duo pulled the curtain open, he panicked. There, tied to a chair, was Wubby, his favorite pink stuffed bear.  
  
"Look familiar?" the voice asked, seemingly knowing that Duo did.  
  
"W-Wubby!" Duo cried out as he watched a cloaked figure move around behind Wubby in the shadows. Suddenly a hand holding a knife reached out and slit Wubbys fuzzy pink belly open and cotton oozed out of the slit in sickening clumps. Duo repressed the urge to throw up and scream.  
  
"I'm coming for you, Duo Maxwell," the voice on the phone said, "and no one can stop me! Not even your beloved Heero!" There was maniacal laughter on the other end.  
  
"What?! Y-y-you better not touch him! Me neither!" Duo screamed into the receiver.  
  
"I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you," The voice kept laughing and kept repeating itself.  
  
"Shut up! Quit saying that! Stop it!"  
  
"I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you!"  
  
"Shut up!" Duo screamed one last time into the receiver. Then, under all the noise on the phone Duo heard beeping, which meant another call. "Hold on, I got another call." Duo switched the line over. "Hello?"  
  
"I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you!"  
  
"Damn you! Sonofabitch!" Duo threw the phone he held in his hand at the wall, making it shatter. Then Duo realized his error. That was the only phone in the house. Heero had taken the cell phone, so all he had let was the phone in the house. The ONLY phone!  
  
"Well, that wasn't very smart," Duo said to himself. "I coulda called the police. Or at least star 69'd the guy. Mmmm... 69..."  
  
There was an explosion, and Duo turned around and ran to the kitchen. He had forgotten that his microwavable burrito was still in there. There was no real damage, just a bunch of beans strewn all over the floor.  
  
"Oh, well," Duo said, getting down on his hands and knees, staring at the beans. "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt!" He then began stuffing the beans into his mouth.  
  
"Well, that was smart asswipe! How am I supposed to harass you if you break the phone?" A familiar voice sounded behind him. Duo spun around and paralyzed with fear at the sight before him. A person in a Halloween costume stood before him wielding a knife in his right hand. It was a glow in the dark ghost mask and a cloak. Finally, Duo screamed, getting floor beans all over the intruder.  
  
"Ugh! Disgusting!" It yelled before charging at Duo. Duo ran to the right, almost slipping in the beans and falling and breaking his precious head, but because everyone loves him so much, he got by without harming himself. But the intruder, since he's the bad guy and is trying to hurt Duo, slipped in the beans and had trouble getting up. Duo ran out the front door and as far away from the house as possible.  
  
Duo made it through the forest and to the main road leading into town, and to his surprise, he had somehow managed to outrun the bad guy. Duo was relieved, but his was still shaken up. Heero would be somewhere in town, so Duo could run to him for comfort and safety. But he didn't know where Heero was. It had been so important to the others that he had not known where everyone was. Were they hiding something from him? Then he remembered Wufei with a shudder, and decided not to think about it.  
  
He looked around to make sure he was alone. There was not another living soul in the area. He was standing in the middle of the road staring into the darkness. There were also creepy looking trees along the road that went into the forest.  
  
Duo quivered with fear as he felt the warm breath of someone behind him. He held his breath as he felt three lustful fingers slide down his back and to his butt. He felt them pinch his ass. Duo spun around to face Heero.  
  
"Gah! Heero! What are you doing here?" He asked. Heero just looked at him.  
  
"I was...grocery shopping." He told Duo.  
  
"What? You're lying! I didn't see or hear a car pull up. And where are the groceries?" Duo asked backing up from Heero.  
  
"I was...I was grocery shopping, and I...I heard you screaming, so... I came to your rescue..." He said, approaching Duo and wrapping his arms around the other boy. Duo smiled, feeling silly, and wrapped his arms around his neck.  
  
"Oh, okay. I thought you were the murderer that was after me and followed me here ditching the Halloween costume and pretending to come to my rescue, when you really want to kill me for sleeping with that strange drunk guy that fateful Summer night that he was run over by that car we were driving in while having sex in the back seat, when we were drunk, and you're trying to get revenge by killing me and making me and everyone else in town believe that it was really the ghost of the dead roadkill man out to get his revenge on us, the drunk teenagers, that ran him over with the car we were having sex in, WHILE driving, like a squirrel on a Wednesday." Duo said, rubbing his cheek on Heero's chest. "But that's silly, because you love me and would never want to hurt me!"  
  
"..." Heero was silent for a moment.  
  
"Hey, Heero?" Duo asked, looking up at him, "Do you have a car?" Heero nodded.  
  
"It's over in those bushes." He said, leading Duo to the bushes. When they got there, Heero and Duo disappeared behind them.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute! There's no car here---ooh! Heh heh..."  
  
*******  
  
Duo felt a little cold as he opened his eyes. It was dark, and when his eyes finally adjusted, he found that he was in his room. How did he get here? Was Heero and that murderer guy a dream?  
  
Duo sat up in bed. It was freezing in the room, and Duo could see his breath. He looked around the room and noticed something was different. There was a lump---- no------ a person bundled up in a blanket in a rocking chair. Wait a minute---- how the Hell did a rocking chair get into his room?  
  
Duo approached it, a little scared. He pulled the top of the blanket off the other person's head to reveal Quatre.  
  
"Oi, Q-man! You scared me! Whaddya doin' in here in the dark?" Duo asked, surprised.  
  
"I..." Quatre shivered, "I'm so a...afraid..."  
  
"Huh? Afraid of what? C'mon, you can tell me."  
  
Quatre beckoned him to move closer. When Duo was close enough, he whispered: "I see dead Twinkies..."  
  
Duo gasped. "You know what's worse?" Duo whispered back. "I see dead Ding Dongs!"  
  
Quatre and Duo screamed. Then Quatre stopped. Duo stopped when Quatre stopped. It was quiet in the room for a while. Duo looked at Quatre for a minute. "AAAAHHHH! OMIGAWD! Quatre's dead!" Duo backed away and gawked at Quatre before running out of the room. He wound up running into someone. When Duo regained his senses, he looked up to see who it was. Trowa was facing away from him.  
  
"Ah, T...Trowa... I didn't s...see you t...there..." Duo stammered. Duo stood up. There was no response from Trowa. "Ah, Trowa, buddy? What's wrong..."  
  
Trowa started laughing. "hehhehehehohohohohohahahahaHaHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
  
"EEP!" Duo backed up, blue in the face. Trowa turned around, his face painted like a clown. He laughed some more. "Ack! You're not Trowa... You're... you're...IT!" Duo started running and Trowa---- I mean---- IT, started running after him. Duo got outside, and started running for a tree. He looked behind him. Trowa started changing shape as he was running. When Duo got to the tree, he stopped. Why did he go to the tree? Because I said so. Anyway, he looked at Trowa, who was now a purple Teletubby. Duo screamed.  
  
"Big Hug!" The Teletubby/IT/Trowa told him.  
  
"Use the force Duo! Use the force!" A voice called to him.  
  
"What? Okay, if you want me to," Duo said to no one, as he watched the Teletubby approach him. "Take this you Bastard! " Duo put those floor beans to use by letting rip. Big time. The Teletubby simply choked a little and backed up.  
  
"That won't work!" The voice said again. Actually, that voice sounded a lot like Quatre. "You need to use your head!" Quatre suddenly appeared beside him. Duo began unzipping his pants. "No, I mean the other one!"  
  
"Oi, weren't you dead?" Duo asked.  
  
"No, I just fell asleep. I had a really wet dream too----" Quatre began.  
  
"Quatre, that's sick!" Duo interrupted him.  
  
"You didn't let me finish. Turns out I had my head down in the toilet. I thought I was swimming in the middle of the Atlantic and was caught in a whirlpool."  
  
They didn't have any time left to chat. The Teletubby had gotten up, and was headed towards them.  
  
"Quick, Quatre, what do we do?" Duo asked.  
  
"Well, It's really just IT. He's using your mind to see what you're afraid of most, and he's making you believe that it's a real life Teletubby. You have to use your mind powers and change it into something else!" Quatre cried out, as the Teletubby neared them.  
  
Duo concentrated really hard. He looked constipated, much to everyone's amusement. Suddenly the Teletubby stopped, and grabbed the triangle on its head. The triangle glowed suddenly, and there was a BOOM from somewhere in the house.  
  
Duo concentrated some more, and the Teletubby began stretching and shrinking a lot. Then it turned into a huge Purple Dinosaur with green spots. Quatre screamed and hid behind Duo.  
  
"Ack! Duo, no! That's what I'm afraid of!"  
  
"Hey, hey, hey, there kiddies!" The Dinosaur said happily. "Let's sing a song! I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."  
  
Quatre screamed and covered his ears. But Duo didn't hear him because he was too busy singing and bobbing his head along to the song.  
  
"With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you! Won't you say I love you too?" Duo sang along, bouncing on his toes. Quatre, having quite enough of this, smacked Duo on the head. Duo regained his senses and tried again. Instead of turning the Dinosaur into something else or destroying it, Duo concentrated too hard and let rip another big one. Quatre, being smart and sensible, was prepared for everything and put on his gas mask that he kept in his back pocket for emergencies. The Dinosaur choked and fell over. Duo walked over to the dead body and poked it with a stick.  
  
"I think IT's dead." He told Quatre. But when he got no response and turned around, Quatre was nowhere to be seen. "Quatre?"  
  
"HEEEELLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!!" Came Quatre's voice from inside the house.  
  
Shivers went down his spine. "I... I gotta save Quatre!" Duo ran inside the house. "Quatre, buddy! Where are you?"  
  
"I'm--- ack! Don't touch me there! Hey, I said---" Quatre's voice was cut off. But Duo could tell where he was by the sound of his voice. He ran all the way up to his room. There was a mysterious glow coming from under the blankets of his bed.  
  
"Come and get him, if you dare! Or are you afraid?" A voice came from underneath the blanket.  
  
"No, I'm not afraid of you! I'll save you Quatre! Hold on, buddy!" Duo screamed at the blanket.  
  
"Hurry Duo! I don't know how much longer I can---- Ooof! Sonofabitch! Hey you asshole---" Quatre's voice was cut off again.  
  
"Shuddap, blondie!" The mysterious voice from earlier told Quatre. To Duo, it said: "come into the blanket and play with us!" There was maniacal laughter. Duo dove under the sheets.  
  
He started flying through a tunnel of purple and blue. It seemed as if he was caught in a periwinkle tornado and he was in the eye of the storm. He was astounded as things started to fly by: A cow, an old lady on a vacuum cleaner, a kitty cat, and a lunch basket. Duo caught the lunch basket and looked inside it. He squealed with delight. "Peanut butter and Jelly, hot wings, and fruit juice, my favorite!" Just then, a homeless man with a car tire for a hat flew by, grabbing that lunch basket out of Duo's hands. Duo yelped in anger, and growled at the man as he went by. "Son of a bitch! Give it back! That was mine!" The homeless man simply blew Duo a raspberry in defiance as he flew out of sight.  
  
Before Duo could say anymore, he was flung into a pool of slime. He stood up, cursing to himself. "Oi, the things I do for love..."  
  
He looked around. He was in a cave. Despite the fact that the two-foot pool he was standing in was full of liquid, flames shot up from the pool. Duo shook his head and sighed to himself. "That's it, no more Jack Daniels for me..." He waded to the shore, which he hadn't noticed before.  
  
"Hahahahahahahahahaha! So glad you could make it, my precious! Come closer!" There was echoing.  
  
Duo ran in the direction he thought it came from. After countless minutes of walking, Duo found the source of the voice. He screamed, paralyzed with fear.  
  
"I'm Freddie Crouger, and I'm gonna chop you up!" Freddie was actually Relena, on one of her "good days."  
  
"Shit! What the hell are you doing here? Where's Quatre, you little---ah, I mean--- fat bitch?"  
  
"He's right there, if you want him," Relena said, gesturing to a hole in the wall behind her. Quatre was there, crying his adorable little eyes out. "But you'll have to get past me to get him."  
  
Duo tried to think quickly as she approached him; sharp claw thingies ready to slice him up. Duo sighed, unable to think of anything. "Ah, you win, but at least tell me what's going on,"  
  
Relena stopped, thinking quickly to herself. "Oh, okay. You're gonna die anyway, so I might as well tell you. The thing is, I want you dead because Heero refuses to even look at me because he's with you. So I made up a rumor about you sleeping with hat drunk guy you guys ran over that fateful Halloween night. Heero believed it, and now he wants to kill you for revenge. Then, with you out of the way, Heero will be mine forever! I lured you here by using Quatre, knowing that you would come after him. I sent a fake Trowa up there to create an inter-dimensional portal that would bring you here! Ingenious plan, ne?" Relena laughed, looking at Duo. Duo just stood there with his mouth agape.  
  
"You mean... I didn't sleep with that guy?" Duo asked. Relena shook her head and Duo repressed the urge to start laughing as all the blubber on her face swished from side to side.  
  
"Duo, hurry up!" Quatre yelled.  
  
"Gomennasai, Quatre! I'll hurry now." Duo apologized. He ran past Relena and grabbed Quatre's arm, pulling him out. " C'mon, we gotta run!"  
  
Quatre and Duo started running toward the pool. Relena started running after them. She tripped and fell, rolling faster than she was running. Indiana Jones music played in the background as Duo and Quatre jumped into the pool. Relena rolled in, and bobbed at the surface. She then began to melt as she frantically swan to the shore. Finally, she melted completely, and was nothing more than a huge puddle of Relena goo.  
  
The scene around them began to melt too, and there was a flash of light. Duo and Quatre were back in Duo's room, under a blanket that was torn apart.  
  
"Oi, Quatre. That was scary. You okay?" Quatre was out of the blanket and panting heavily by the window. "Quatre?  
  
"Duo... get away... I'm turning into... oooh... the ...full... moon..." Quatre grew in size, and extremely hairy, might I add, and he screamed. Quatre had turned into a werewolf.  
  
Duo backed away, unable to do anything due to shock. Quatre's doggie lips pulled back and he showed his teeth to Duo. He stalked over to him, and then started humping Duo's leg. Duo, disgusted suddenly, smacked Quatre-wolf's head, making the dog boy back away. Quatre, not liking this, snarled at duo. The last thing Duo saw was the werewolf charging at him and ripping off his arm...  
  
Duo awoke with a jolt. The TV was blaring and the picture on the screen was nothing but snow. He was sitting on the couch in a blanket.  
  
"It must have been a dream," he told himself. "Just a bad dream. I'm never watching scary movies alone again." He got up, still tires, and turned the TV off before trudging to his room. As he was walking past the kitchen, the phone rang. Duo quickly remembered the dream, but then remebered again that it wasn't real and the phone was still in tact. He reached down to pick up the phone, thinking to himself; it's probably just Heero checking up on me. I'll tell him to hurry home, I guess. Duo put the receiver to his ear.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"What's your favorite scary movie?" The eerie voice asked on the other line. Duo screamed....  
  
The twilight zone: Once you go in, you can never come back out. What poor Duo didn't know, was that he had fallen into a time warp. All the events would keep repeating over, and over, and over again... 


End file.
